Effigy
by Frost Deejn
Summary: How Grissom kind of asks Sara out on a first date.


Disclaimer: CSI does not belong to me. Any questions?

A/N: Post "Time of Your Death."

Effigy

Sara walked slowly down the hall. She'd finished her paperwork and clocked off, but she didn't want to leave. Her mind went over and over the case, the things Grissom said.

_"I think fantasies are best kept private."_

Had there been hidden meanings there? She had the feeling he was looking directly at her when he said it.

And what Mr. Caprice said: _"Oh, and may all _your _dreams come true."_

Did he see something between them? Some secret desire? Was it even remotely possible Grissom wanted her half as much...one _tenth_ as much as she wanted him?

She slowed her step as she neared his office. The door was open, and she peeked in.

He glanced up. "Sara. You on your way out?"

"Yeah, I just finished my follow-up."

He nodded. She watched his face carefully. He kept his eyes on the paperwork in front of him.

"Mind if I ask you a question, Grissom?" Inside, she was quaking to the pit of her stomach, as always when she tried to talk to him about her feelings, but she managed to sound casual.

"Of course not. What?" He looked up at her, his intelligent eyes wide but tired, and she remembered why she was so in love with him.

"Are some guys really intimidated by beautiful women?"

He looked down again, quickly. How was he supposed to answer that without saying he'd been thinking of her when he said that? That he longed for her? That he hated any moment he wasn't with her? "Sometimes," he said slowly, "when a man's attracted to a beautiful woman, he's terrified of so much as talking to her because he doesn't think he could handle her laughing at him."

Sara leaned against the door frame. "What if he already knew she was attracted to him?"

"I don't know; you'll have to ask him," he joked. Then he added, "I suppose he would hope she'd make the first move, since then he'd be completely sure. And if she's very beautiful, she shouldn't be afraid of rejection."

"But what if..." She stepped inside the office and placed her hands on the back of the chair. She continued more quietly. "What if he'd already rejected her once before?"

Grissom's eyes wandered around the room. "I imagine that might make it even harder for him. He'd regret turning her down, but he'd be terrified that she'd tell him he was too late."

"Imagine how she would feel, though," said Sara. "If she had feelings for him, but he turned her down, there's no way she'd try again. She wouldn't risk that kind of pain twice. And if he was someone she was close to, someone she saw every day, maybe someone she worked with...it would be hard."

He looked away. He hated that he'd caused her pain, that he had tormented her by resisting her, when what he really wanted to do was the opposite. He was tired of fighting his attraction to her because of regulations and his dread of losing her professionally if things didn't work out. "He might be afraid...if he did or said the wrong thing...she would leave."

"She's probably thought about leaving, because it's so hard to be so close to someone she can't have, but she keeps deciding it would just hurt more to be away from him."

"She could try again. Some men just aren't good with sharing their feelings. Maybe he regrets what he said to her. He might think he made a big mistake, because he'd been too afraid of the way he felt about her."

"Well, maybe he'd said other things that made her think he wasn't interested."

"Like what, for example?"

Sara dropped her eyes to the floor, folded her hands, and fidgeted with her thumbs. "Just...things. Hints that he thought she was coming on too strong and he was trying to let her down gently."

Grissom flinched. He tried to remember ever saying anything that could give her that impression. He couldn't. "It could be that he'd been talking about something else, and she read more into it than he meant."

"That's possible," she admitted without lifting her eyes. "But still...if she'd made her feelings clear, you would think he'd be able to say _something_. If...he really wanted to."

He pressed his fist against his lips. He looked thoughtful, but he really did it to keep himself from gasping. She had no idea how much he wanted to say _Sara Sidle, I'm inexpressibly, inextricably in love with you_. "It couldn't be an easy situation for either of them," he said instead. "In fact...it all sounds quite sad."

Sara nodded. "If two people had feelings for each other, but they were both too afraid to act on them...it really would be tragic. Every day they'd suffer from longing, and they'd never find out what they could have together."

He looked up at her, but couldn't think of anything to say.

"Well, I'll let you get back to work. See ya." She stepped out the door.

Grissom stood up and followed her. He couldn't stand doing nothing. He was tired of merely admiring her from afar. "Sara, wait."

She turned back. "What?" she asked curiously.

"I...have you had breakfast yet?"

"No."

"I'm just on my way to the diner down the street."

"Really? So am I. I'll...walk with you."

He smiled, relieved and thrilled. It wasn't like a real date, he told himself. They were just going to eat breakfast together, maybe talk about the case, and gaze at each other discretely across the table.

Little did they know that, from this first step, they were mere days away from all of their dreams coming true.


End file.
